Instant Message Free Verse

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Posted with my deepest gratitude. You’re the most wonderful friend a girl could have. 

Friend: how ya doing

Me: Doing OK

Friend: good

Me: kind of a rough day

Me: But I’m OK now

Me: How about you?

Friend: working and it blows

Me: yeah

Me: I’m working on tomorrow’s powerpoint

Friend: yes

Me: I’d rather get drunk

Friend: yes

Me: Life’s a bit sucky today

Friend: yes

Me: I want to curl up in a ball and just cry

Friend: sorry

Me: thanks

Me: I knew things would never be the same when I got the diagnosis, but I never thought the process of change would be so painful

Me: and permanent

Me: The scars don’t go away

Me: it would be better if they did, and I could forget

Me: and get on with life

Me: someday

Me: *sigh*

Friend: yeah

Me: Can’t get life insurance

Me: Got a $200 parking ticket

Me: Eddie Bauer wants $100 in late fees

Me: they can all get fucked

Friend: yes

Me: I’m writing a letter to the CEO of Eddie Bauer

Me: probably later today

Me: What scares me is that sometimes when all this crap gets to be too much, I feel like it isn’t’ worth trying to survive the cancer

Me: if life is just going to be more of this

Me: except with scars and pain

Me: missing body parts

Me: poison pumped into my arteries for four months

Me: for what?

Me: I mean, is it really worth it?

Friend: *sigh*

Me: Yeah

Me: It’s too hard

Friend: I don’t know what to tell ya

Me: I know, baby. I don’t think there’s an answer.

Me: Sometimes I just need someone to listen

Me: My life’s never been that great, nothing really to celebrate, I can expect to be forgotten except as a footnote on someone’s dissertation maybe

Me: I’m tired of fighting. Sometimes I wonder if I should just let go.

Friend: If you give up, I will find some butch lesbian to chase you around

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About Wild Rose

I’m known as Wild Rose, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer on January 8, 2008. I had no insurance, and my income, which wasn’t large anyway, had just been cut by 2/3. This is my story, my thoughts, and the ideas that I dream up or find elsewhere. I hope that other patients and survivors find solace here.

One response »

  1. Wild Rose,

    how ARE you?

    You are far more than a footnote on somebody’s dissertation!

    Come back to bco!

    Worried about you!

    “AnnNYC”

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