Fallout: No More “Hair Zombie”


My hair is falling out in earnest.

It’s everywhere: the sink, the shower, the carpet, the floor, the hairbrush, and worst of all, frequently my dinner plate.

I’ll probably get it shaved off when I start looking like a hair zombie. I’m just not ready to let go yet. My hair is just not that easy to part with (no pun intended). I haven’t yet been able to figure out why it was easier to part with my breast. Maybe because the breast had a huge cancer tumor and had to go. The hair, well, it’s done nothing wrong!

The doctor said body hair goes, too, so I’ll be able to stop shaving my legs. She did say I’ll probably get to keep my eyebrows.

I guess that’s a consolation prize.

Yesterday (4/3), I did it. I went to my stylist and got the zombie hair taken off. I couldn’t stand it any more. There was no denying the obvious: I had huge bald patches and it was getting worse.Now I look like Sinead O’Connor.But I have the “Goth” Nirvana wig in espresso, a dark chocolate brown similar to my natural color, and the “Stevie” Amore wig in marble brown. I’ve ordered “Soiree” in Cherry Cola (the color pictured), and it should be here tomorrow or Monday. The two I have look great on me.I was having lunch with my boss yesterday and I decided to wear the Goth wig instead of Stevie because it’s closer to what my hair looked like the last time anyone in my department saw me — before the unzombification procedure.

I was up on the third floor of our building. My office is on the second floor, so I don’t have much occasion to go up there. I was walking down the hall; one of our newer faculty was coming toward me from the other direction and I said, “Hey, hiya doin’!” just like I greet everyone.

There was a flash of recognition in his eyes, then just as he got even with me, there was this expression of “no– what?— Wait a minute!” (we had kept walking in opposite directions) By then he was past me and I heard him stop and turn, so I did too, and he was turned around still looking at me and trying to figure it out, meanwhile still walking forward, right into a grad student.

“I’ve been getting that all day,” I said.


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